Finding My Forgotten Thoughts of Thankfulness

Before I lay down my head…should I start a sentence with “before”?
I never took a writing class but some rules I vaguely remember.
I just feel like emptying my head before going to bed to think of other things.

I just feel I want to leave you with something.
Something I am not even sure will be useful to you.
I just feel like I haven’t worked here on my publishing for awhile and
it’s as if someone is waiting out there for something from me…anything.

I imagine my family members waiting for a phone call from me.
I am sorry but I just hate the phone. None of them live close.
Why could I not at least had one sister live in the same town as me?
It would have been so nice to go for coffee….just once, or take a walk.

I can’t live in the place, “I wish it could have been……” too long.

It is wintery cold or I might go out and visit an older woman from my church,
or one I knew could use some help or cheering up, even if it meant a visit to
them in a nursing home. I love the older women. I used to have several of those
dear ladies for friends, but now passed.

I can’t live in the place, “I wish I still were there….” too long either.

Now I get to be the older woman, the one waiting for a phone call or a letter.
Oh, the days of writing letters. It was so much fun to read them and as soon as
one was folded and tucked back in their envelop I would respond, much to their
surprise. I loved a written note in a card. Something that took just a little bit of

What a disappointment to find a card….with just a name signed to it. I get enough of those
at Christmas time and one or two if I am lucky, for my birthday. I am sorry to be not very
greatful. I am sorry I don’t look forward to your call when all you talk about is yourself, or call because you need something from me.

I could be happy to be invisible. I love the happy woman in my photo. I want to be her and for some moments…..I AM!

Now time to rest and hope my negative, cynical attitude will leave me soon. I do believe it is up to me. I think I used to be much happier. I think I am content. At least, I can be content. I must not expect so much from this world. I’m glad I get to spend tomorrow with my grandchildren.

Thank you God for grandchildren!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:6-7)

By cushn4

Now retired from my sewing business yet all about the business of serving my family and creating things to sell in my store. I love to have some purpose left in me. I hope I can encourage others and bring the light of Jesus most of all to this dark world.

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