Wide Awake too Early

I lay in bed thinking about stuff far too long in the wee early hours of the morning.
“Why can’t I just fall back to sleep?” I ask myself. “Cast all your cares on him.” I remind myself from scripture verses put to memory.

Alright, I will at least get up and empty my bladder. Maybe that will do the trick to get me back to my slumbering dreamworld.

Nope, not this morning.

I had too much on my mind. If it were just that I had too many things to get to, that would have been easy.

Just get up and do some of the things on my mind….laundry, dishes, sewing, write a letter (Didn’t I say I was going to write a letter each week to someone, when I made my new years resolution?).

Things on my mind this morning were more about solving problems. How do I? Where can I? What should I? These types of questions. The how is easy enough, just do a search on the internet. You can usually find the answer or a video or at least some advice.

I think at times it is good to just browse the internet. I don’t like to spend too much time looking at the screens. However, this morning, shopping online was worthwhile for me. It also helped me find answers to some of my questions, and get closer to solutions for others.

I ordered some books, I ordered a set of light bulbs for my lamp by my piano, and I decided what I might finally do with all that extra fabric I have in my workroom. By looking around sometimes the answers do start to come to you. Retired from my sewing business, I haven’t been able to find a good use for or a charitable organization or individual that would need or want what I have.

Crossroads are difficult because you have to make a decision or you are stuck. You either sit still for so long bored and feeling useless, or you take the risk of being disappointed, wasting your time, feeling like a failure. But sometimes, the road you take does lead you to some satisfaction and reward.

For me, I am not sure how much I want to put into anything anymore as far as effort. I get motivated if I know someone will really appreciate what it is I have to offer them. Then, it does not matter to me as much, any material gain that comes from it. For me the emotional gain is everything. Just knowing I made someone happy is everything to me.

I hope I can get on with getting on to the next thing I am supposed to pour my heart into as far as work on this planet goes. I made a batch of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and sent them off with my husband for our son’s family who is all home in quarantine, getting over Covid. That will warm my heart some but it isn’t enough for me.

Maybe I will fill up some boxes to donate to charity. At least the sun is shining for my plants today. I may take a nap later. I would rather find a way to wake up completely! My tea just isn’t doing it for me today and I don’t like coffee although it smells fabulous!

The problem with me is that the world around me has such an effect on me. It it isn’t going well, I am out of wack somehow. Music helps. I have been playing my Christmas tunes and practicing the piano more.

Be good to yourself everyone. God loves you deeply. Even if you don’t know him, He knows you since the day you were formed in your mother’s womb!

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:13)

Published by cushn4

I like to write for the pure enjoyment of writing short excerpts about life in general. I would want my writing to bring inspiration or encouragement to the faint-hearted or those looking for some direction, purpose, or meaning. I am searching daily for what it is God wants me to do and who he wants me to become. It is a growing pain for me. We all have something new we can learn and share with others.

4 thoughts on “Wide Awake too Early

    1. You are very thoughtful. Appreciate prayers. Not sure they are trials or if I am just a whiner/cry-baby. So many have it harder than I do!!! My analytical mind gets in the way. My husband tells me I must get such a headache thinking so hard about things. LOL!!!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: