Messy Me – Lifetime Struggle

A messy desk, messy kitchen, messy workroom, the messy nightstand is nothing unusual about my home. I was never that way at my place of work, messy.

I just like too many things, perhaps, reading (hence the books pile up everywhere), crocheting (I am learning Amigurumi crochet), my plants now brought in from my gardens. (Just the ones that are still pretty, and ones I will store over winter.)

When I was working, at a job site, you would never see nick-nacks brought in to decorate my surroundings or find stacks of paperwork at my desk. I am not materialistic and did get my work done routinely.

My counters were immaculate as were the floors when I worked in a dental office as an Assistant. You would never find snacks hiding in my drawers anyplace I worked. No framed photos setting out of pets or family members could be found. No crazy cracker-jack toys or miscellaneous souvenirs, to show off. Basically, I am not a show-off in any way.

So I ask, why are things so unmanageable for me in my own home? The stuff around me, I mean. I still know when the laundry needs to be done, the dishes in the dishwasher should be emptied, the lights should be off.

I guess I need someone telling me what and how and when to do something. No that is not true. I just need someone strict in charge of me. My husband is too kind.

He is the neat one and will fold the laundry I didn’t get to folding. Things are usually laid out flat, so they don’t wrinkle until I get to them. I must have been distracted. I moved on to the next thing that got my attention.

I think when I get very comfortable in a place, I let my guard down. I tend to be more relaxed and work according to my own schedule. I do best when I even have a schedule. Maybe I should get back to writing a list. Oops, I forgot to write one today!

In high-school Geometry class, years ago, I got a “D” letter grade one semester. I was an A & B average student. This teacher let us work at our own pace and for me, it made all the difference.

After that one semester, I changed my ways but it was hard work for me. I had to be my own coach to press me forward and on toward the task at hand. I do better when someone is demanding, has high expectations, and is strict with me.

I am no longer a child and should be able to manage things better on my own now. I don’t want to be married to a brute. I think it is just self-discipline I need and the humility it takes to ask God for help. I have been doing this lately more and more.

I have shed tears over this issue which may sound silly to someone who is not bothered by distractions. For me, it is debilitating. I can’t move. I seriously want to get control over my surroundings instead of my surroundings controlling me.

Today I find myself remembering a game my dad played with us to get us to help clean up. “Just pick up five things and put them away.” He would tell us. Or, “Take something up (where our shared bedroom was) before you go upstairs.” Our arms needed to be full.

Dad was the one who cleaned the countertops in our kitchen and gathered the messes that we, in turn, put in their place. Mom was too busy cooking, doing laundry, washing floors etc. I guess I got a little bit of the habits I have formed from both of them.

I am busy with so many different things because God gave me such an interest for the arts. I love to create. Dad taught me my organizational skills, rather, just watching him I picked something up.

Dad was secretary for his Golf Club, treasurer for his Bowling League, and a Commercial Artist at the Studio where he worked full-time. Mom did a great job of making sure we always had clean clothes, haircuts from one of her best friends, a clean house, and pretty good food to eat.

Mom got neighbors together to bake bread, canned vegetables, and make Christmas cookies. She always had friends for coffee every morning but on the weekends. I admit she loved to gossip and made sure she shoed any of us little ones out to play if there was something we did not need to hear, or just for the sake of privacy with her friends.

That is a little history of my parents, and perhaps a clue as to why I am the messy girl I am. I still am trying to figure it out. I think maybe creative, interesting people generally are messy. Ha! Ha!

Today I played a game and picked up five things off my kitchen counter and put them away. In the last room, I was in I told myself I could not leave without picking up five more things to put away, which I did. Now in another room, I picked up another five things and proceeded to put these things away.

I took a look at just the little bit I did and thought, I should write about this. Before I would forget, I sat down at the computer and here I am. See how easily I get side-tracked? My husband would tease me and say, “SQUIRREL!” to me when he saw that happening, which is often at our house.

Another version of the game, which would help me, and maybe someone else, is that I could set a timer for an hour and spend the hour picking up “just five things” in every room I ended up to see how far it would take me.

Just one hour of cleaning a house (picking up things) is not so bad when I can make a game of it. Otherwise, this kind of cleaning gets me side-tracked so easily. A person like me could see a lot of “squirrels” if I were not careful and determined to stay on task.

I wish I weren’t so easily distracted. I would get so much more done. My husband will ask me, (after I tell him, “Sorry the house is a mess still, I didn’t get much done.”) “But did you have fun? Did you have a good day?”

For me, a good day is when the house is neat and organized. I will show him something I did complete, or a room I cleaned. I am hardest on my own self. I am not sure where this comes from. I know God loves me just as I am and so does my husband.

I spend time with God each day in the morning, first thing. I read devotionals or my Bible, or play a spiritual song on my piano just meditating to the Lord. I know this is the most important thing I do each day. I need him so much because otherwise, I would only have my own thoughts. They take me to places that benefit no one.

God bless you and I pray you will have peace today and put your trust in God alone!

Are you a messy type of person too? Is it different for you at home than at the office?

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;” (2 Corinthians 4:8)

Published by cushn4

I like to write for the pure enjoyment of writing short excerpts about life in general. I would want my writing to bring inspiration or encouragement to the faint-hearted or those looking for some direction, purpose, or meaning. I am searching daily for what it is God wants me to do and who he wants me to become. It is a growing pain for me. We all have something new we can learn and share with others.

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